A friend of mine recently wrote about being in a funk.
I think we all get there from time to time. Our funks may be different in cause and content, but we all have those moments when we are just discontent, troubled, weary or even 'done.'
Her writings about her funk forced me to stop and do some hard thinking.
And admitting.
I, too, have been in a funk.
She was questioned on whether or not she was having a crisis of faith-which she was not.
Neither am I.
This is not a crisis of faith or a questioning of God or a struggle in the darkness of trial.
It is simply, for lack of a better way of putting it, a mind funk.
And when I have these seasons of, let's call it 'funkiness', I tend to get quiet.
Because, quite frankly, I don't know what to say.
That.
That right there.
That frustrates me to no end.
I am a problem solver. I want to assess and then fix. I want to fix my funk. I want the answers so I can enact solutions and solve the problems.
I want out of my funk.
But - sometimes there are no answers. At least, not the kind I've been searching for, anyway.
My funk does not stem from trial or a wavering trust in the Father and His plan and purpose.
My funk stems from people.
They annoy me.
Especially when I expect them to know, and act, better.
It is not news that a deep part of me wants to change the world.
It is not a new thing to hear me say that I am weary of the status quo.
It is not surprising when I come up with another way of challenging the system and myself out of 'doing things the way they've always been done by everyone else.'
I like to swim upstream. I like to be different. I am not a bandwagon type of gal.
And I get beyond weary of doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.
(Insanity, anyone?)
I also get weary of talking things to death.
I want to be a woman of action. I want to try it and see and if it fails, then I learned something for next time.
But, at least, I did something.
I didn't sit around thinking it to death and ultimately deciding it wouldn't work anyway so I gave up.
No - I want to be known at the woman who went out there and gave it her best shot.
And I am sick.to.death. of procedures and committees and meetings and bureaucracy.
Before you 'amen' me...be sure to ask the begging question:
"So, what do you do, then?"
*crickets*
That's where you stump me.
I don't have the answers.
That is where I struggle.
And pray.
And beg God to send me where He needs me to be used.
Because where I am right now is not it.
I don't need to be exalted.
But I want to be needed.
I want to be needed and valued as part of the believing family of God changing the world.
I cannot let the funk win. Because it sees victory as my relenting to the status quo.
And I cannot let that happen.
But what I, and we, are doing - Is.Not.Working.
Something has to give.
Ever been there? Feeling that sense of pushing from the Spirit urging you forward?
Something has to change.
My prayer becomes, once again,
"Lord, change ME."
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Why Minimalism?
If you've followed me much here or on Twitter or Facebook, you know that I am actively pursuing a more minimalist lifestyle. I read blogs and books that encourage more simple living and making conscious choices to assist my family in living a less chaotic life.
It's possible that some folks may think that I have allowed my pursuit of simplicity to overshadow my faith and walk with the Great Love, my Father. But that could not be less true. You see, I see the two as inherently connected. In my journey, the one cannot go without the Other.
Life is hectic. And often crazy and mostly chaotic. Work and kids and schedules and house and yard and activities and weekends and...and...and...
More often than not, we spend entirely too much time simply running from one thing to the next on autopilot.
^^^
This is what I am trying to abandon in my life. That chaos negatively affect my daily peace, my energy, my relationships with my family and loved ones, and my relationship with the Father. You, too, may find yourself spending more time than you care to admit simply surviving from one moment/activity/event to the next.
Is your kitchen a disaster?
Do you have more than one 'junk drawer'?
Do you have a location where all mail/bills get dumped that is overflowing in papers and clutter?
Do you have a pile of clean and/or dirty laundry waiting to be addressed at all times?
Let's go further...
Do you have books you've never read or have read multiple times just taking up space?
Do you still have toys/clothes from your children's younger years that they do not/cannot use?
Do you still have clothes in your own closet you never wear?
These are only a few examples. But here is my point:
Any and everything like this that takes away from my time with my children and the Father is time wasted. So, I began to simplify. Eliminate. Clean out.
I got weary of my time being so wasted.
I am not 'there' yet. I am not where I desire to be. But I am getting there. Since I began this journey around 2 years ago, I find that cleaning up, putting away, straightening up takes significantly less time than it used to. One tip I've heard often is to spend a little time cleaning up each day so that things don't pile up. I want to take it a step further. Eliminating the majority of the 'junk' around my house has automatically shaved hours off of my clean up time. There's less to clean up. It is that simple.
How often do you feel guilty for sitting and relaxing with your favorite steamy beverage because you have 'so much to do'? If you eliminate part of your 'to do' list, you have more time...
To rest
To breathe
To meditate
To pray
For me, this movement toward simplicity and minimalism has been a movement to live a more purposeful life. I make more conscious decisions about what we do and when. I also am more keenly aware of the god of 'stuff' that this culture has bowed in reverence to for far too long. Eliminating more and more 'stuff' from my possession has freed me to focus on the worship the Creator of all things rather than the things themselves.
Like I said, I am still finding my way. Having a few full-time job has presented new challenges along the way. But God provides assistance along the way when I need it.
The bottom line is I am done with the auto-pilot life. Sometimes that means throwing something away. Sometimes that means saying "No." Sometimes that means doing things differently than others around me and getting funny looks along the way.
And I am totally ok with that.
It's not the first time and surely won't be the last.
;)
It's possible that some folks may think that I have allowed my pursuit of simplicity to overshadow my faith and walk with the Great Love, my Father. But that could not be less true. You see, I see the two as inherently connected. In my journey, the one cannot go without the Other.
Life is hectic. And often crazy and mostly chaotic. Work and kids and schedules and house and yard and activities and weekends and...and...and...
More often than not, we spend entirely too much time simply running from one thing to the next on autopilot.
^^^
This is what I am trying to abandon in my life. That chaos negatively affect my daily peace, my energy, my relationships with my family and loved ones, and my relationship with the Father. You, too, may find yourself spending more time than you care to admit simply surviving from one moment/activity/event to the next.
Is your kitchen a disaster?
Do you have more than one 'junk drawer'?
Do you have a location where all mail/bills get dumped that is overflowing in papers and clutter?
Do you have a pile of clean and/or dirty laundry waiting to be addressed at all times?
Let's go further...
Do you have books you've never read or have read multiple times just taking up space?
Do you still have toys/clothes from your children's younger years that they do not/cannot use?
Do you still have clothes in your own closet you never wear?
These are only a few examples. But here is my point:
Any and everything like this that takes away from my time with my children and the Father is time wasted. So, I began to simplify. Eliminate. Clean out.
I got weary of my time being so wasted.
I am not 'there' yet. I am not where I desire to be. But I am getting there. Since I began this journey around 2 years ago, I find that cleaning up, putting away, straightening up takes significantly less time than it used to. One tip I've heard often is to spend a little time cleaning up each day so that things don't pile up. I want to take it a step further. Eliminating the majority of the 'junk' around my house has automatically shaved hours off of my clean up time. There's less to clean up. It is that simple.
How often do you feel guilty for sitting and relaxing with your favorite steamy beverage because you have 'so much to do'? If you eliminate part of your 'to do' list, you have more time...
To rest
To breathe
To meditate
To pray
For me, this movement toward simplicity and minimalism has been a movement to live a more purposeful life. I make more conscious decisions about what we do and when. I also am more keenly aware of the god of 'stuff' that this culture has bowed in reverence to for far too long. Eliminating more and more 'stuff' from my possession has freed me to focus on the worship the Creator of all things rather than the things themselves.
Like I said, I am still finding my way. Having a few full-time job has presented new challenges along the way. But God provides assistance along the way when I need it.
The bottom line is I am done with the auto-pilot life. Sometimes that means throwing something away. Sometimes that means saying "No." Sometimes that means doing things differently than others around me and getting funny looks along the way.
And I am totally ok with that.
It's not the first time and surely won't be the last.
;)
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