In Which I Am Angry With Brant Hansen

Recently I heard something that really bothered me. Okay so 'bothered' is not the right word. 'Ticked me off' would be more accurate. And so I did what any red-blooded American in the 21st-century does, I took to social media with my gripe. And just like that my displeasure, perfectly phrased and exquisitely worded, was placed out for public consumption so that I could make sure I knew who agreed with me in their offense at the ridiculous statement that I had just heard. 

What I want to share with you is what happened in the 2 minutes after I posted my gripe. 

You see, I recently read a book that has challenged me deeply. And by 'challenge me deeply' I mean stepped all over my toes. The thing is, I am one of those weirdos that actually seeks out people to step on my toes. I don't necessarily enjoy it. I hate it actually. Detest is an even better word. Yet, still, I need it. My faith walk needs it. My life needs it. I need to be challenged in every possible way. It's one of the few things that truly helps me grow.  

This book to which I'm referring is 'Unoffendable' by Brant Hansen.  

I'm not going to give you a book review or a synopsis of what this book covers. And the title of this post lies.  I'm not actually angry with Brant Hansen. Ok, I was. A little. I certainly didn't like him for a little while.  However, I will just tell you that if you're struggling with forgiveness, self-righteousness, judgmentalism, the concept of grace...you know, those issues that most of us struggle with on any given day, then you need to read this book. 

I am presently at a place in my life where I am seeking to love others better. I'm seeking to know others better. I'm a sucker for a good story, and I want to know everyone's. I truly believe that only in knowing an individual's story can we truly begin to know their heart, feel compassion, and begin to love them the way that Jesus does. But in order to do that, I really have to get the chip off of my shoulder. That is a terribly difficult task.

I don't know if you have ever struggled with letting go of hurt that someone else has inflicted on you, neglect that you have felt in an area of your life, rejection, pain, brokenness. But I know that I have, and in the years that I have journeyed with Jesus as His beloved, I would be lying if I said that seeds of bitterness had not begun to sprout within my heart. I have a chip on my shoulder. And I recently asked God to knock it off. 

Shortly after that, I found this book. While reading it, I have laughed out loud, I have cried openly, and I have related to so many of the things that Brant has shared. I have been the rejected one. I have been the one to reject others. And it's time that I get over myself, stop taking the world so personally as if it is attacking who I am, see into people's hearts a little bit more deeply, and just love them. 

Not every stupid thing said or done around me requires my input, my assessment, my comment or rebuke. 

Simply put, what's happening is not about me. Even when it is about me, really it isn't. 

No really. 

It's. 

Not. 

So, back to this crisp Spring evening, as I placed my smart device into my lap, so proud of my astute commentary on the events that surrounded me, within the next two minutes the conviction that I have felt while reading this book, and studying these words against the word of God, moved me. I was humbled. I was out of line. And I deleted my comment. 

My comment was seen. And I have been asked about it since, much to my disappointment. However, maybe that's not such a bad thing. Because you see, I need a little grace, too. If I can be an example of a smart-mouth know-it-all, quick with her online gripes who can start to change her ways through the changing of her heart, then anyone can. 

I pray for unity. 

I thank God for grace. 

I seek out opportunities to stretch outside my comfort zone. 

I acknowledge my flaws. 

I repent of my sin. 

And I long to be 

Unoffendable. 

Never Stop Telling Your Story

I can be a bit of a dreamer.
I can be a tad bit dramatic.
I have a tendency to get a little too excited about the bigger picture.

The last few months have settled me down a bit in that area.

Life happens.  That's an interesting expression, don't you think?

But, nevertheless, events and people and circumstances and changes all tend to get in the way of our grandiose plans, whatever those plans may be. For me, it was to change the world.

You know, between semesters of teaching, or something like that.

Funny things happen when circumstances change or daily life events take your attention or you wake up one day and your child is turning 14 and you realize...
My life is my world.
My life is the world I am called to change.

I don't have to impact the entire world to make a difference.
I simply have a calling to impact the world around me.
I meet people and interact with people and teach people all day.  Every day.

Here is my point:
I have a story.  It is a broken, battered, redeemed story.
And it may never cross the globe.
I am still called to tell it.
Because there is someone out there who needs to hear my story.  And who needs to hear the hope.
Sometimes you need to know someone understands.  Sometimes you need to lean on a soul who's been there. 
And be reminded you're not alone. 
And that there is redemption. 
And healing.
That wounds scab or scar over.
And sometimes ripped wide open again.
That sometimes wounds never heal.
And all of that is ok.

Here's a secret about my job:
I am paid to encourage people to tell their story.
I am paid to listen to people tell their story.
And I am paid to teach them how to tell it better.
What an amazing and wonderful task I have been given!
Because EVERYONE has a story to tell.
And someone out there needs to hear those stories.
Those stories will change the world.

So, I will continue to tell mine.
One day.  One moment.
One blog post.
One family dinner.
One hike in the woods.
One morning on the porch.
At a time.

I have only a precious few years left with my children.
And then they will be off living their own lives and...

Changing the world.

Spring. New Beginnings.

Has it really been 7 months since I last wrote?

Yikes.

Not that you are all waiting on pins and needles anxiously anticipating words to pour forth.

But still, when you long to be transparent and desire to share your journey in order to encourage others, this long of a time period is unacceptable.

I do not profess to be a writer by any stretch of the imagination.  However, I have gone through a period where I've turned inward moreso than usual (apparently) as I process life around me.  Lately, and finally, the words and thoughts and desires to once again share my heart have grown within me so that I feel I can once again sit behind this screen and at least try to be a voice of hope.
A voice of encouragement.
A voice that will shine light and strengthen you.

Life happens.  All the goals and plans and dreams in the world cannot stop it from continuing on and creating interruptions daily.  So, do I view my life as a series of interruptions or opportunities?

I choose to see Opportunity.


So, this Spring season, with its tiny buds of new life sprawling out on the branches around me and fresh shades of green and touches of warm sun on skin, I will view as a rebirth of my voice behind my little blog in hopes that I can encourage even one person who has found him or herself

broken
in need of a beacon.

I was there.
I get it.
There is another side.
The other side.
Where still waters and fresh pasture await you.

I want to be one who reminds you of that.