I Am Better Than You

Whew!
I am so glad I got that off my chest.
Now that that's behind us, let's chat.

Women are horrible.
We think men are competitive?  Just sit and watch a group of women when another woman enters a room.  You can almost read their minds as they spend the next minute or two checking her out:

She's fatter/taller/skinnier/prettier/homelier than me.
Does she think that hairstyle looks good?
I wish my smile looked like hers.
Why does she walk that way?
Does she have a tattoo?!?

And that's just the judgment based on appearances.
We are cruel.

And we compare status:
Working mom
Stay at home mom
Homeschooling mom

And marriages.  And husbands.  And income. 
Houses and cars.
Dinner menus and social circles.

What's worse than the comparisons is the defensiveness we display.
We introduce ourselves to others with the auto-defense statements like:
"I homeschool.  You know, I have those (insert finger quotes) 'unsocialized' kids."
"I have a second job on the side.  You know, I had no choice since my husband left me broke."
"Oh you cook supper every night?  Must be nice to have that kind of time to kill!"

Awful.

Let me just clear the air for a moment.
We are, most of us, sincerely trying our best.
It's time to cut ourselves, and each other, some slack.
If we are comparing, or are defensive, we are struggling with deep feelings of fear, inadequacy, judgment, or guilt.
Quit it.
Breathe in some grace.
Shower some onto the mom next to you who is also trying her best and making the exact opposite choices you are.  Neither of you is right.  Neither of you is 'better.'
Some of us are in circumstances not of our choosing and we are making it the best we can.
Others did choose our path and did so based on what we saw best for our family.
It is ok to do things a bit differently.
Share ideas.
Encourage each other.
Learn from each other.
And chill out the defensiveness and snarky-ness.

We are called to encourage one another and, let's face it...
Who among us couldn't use an 'atta girl' now and then?
A pat on the back
A warm smile and a hug
A simple statement of: "I believe in you."

So whether you're a homeschooling mom still in your jammies or the working outside the home mom with your commuter coffee mug and briefcase-
Here's to you!
Keep on keeping on doing your best at all you do!

And the next time you see someone doing it differently,
Raise your coffee mug to her as well.
She needs it.


What do you mean you don't drink coffee?!?
That's it.
I'm shunning you.  Again.

;)