Today's Prayer

"Lord, make my life a testimony to your compassion and grace."

I've pondered that prayer this week.
A lot.

I used to pray it quite often.
When my world had crashed and God saved me from the pit.  He rescued me and sustained me and became the very oxygen I inhaled and the blood in my veins.

Now, nearly 5 years later, life is quite different.
In some ways, more comfortable.
Although the enemy enjoys finding ways to remind me of my brokenness-
pouring salt in old wounds that have never completely healed.
My Great Love, however, turns those moments around to remind me how far I have come - how far He has brought me - and the sting of remembering is washed away in the soothing waters of His grace and mercy and provision.

In the more smoother season of life I now lead, I never want to live complacent...
Yet I quite enjoy being comfortable.

That's where this prayer steps in and asks me:
Do I Really Trust Him?

I say I do.
My life is a living breathing testimony to His goodness.
But I also know that testimony came as a result of heartache.

How many of us can say the same thing?

Many, is my guess.

So why do we fight the trials?
As if they will ease if I just fight hard enough against the waves.


But then, this:

 

 

I do.  Kiss the wave.

I treasure it.

Because it did slam me into the One who carried and saved me.

Time and time again.

 

The only way my life can be a testimony to God's compassion and grace is for me to first of all remember and acknowledge all the ways He was compassionate and graceful to me. Secondly, I must live that compassion and grace to others.

And sometimes...

No, scratch that.

OFTEN

It is hard to do.

 

That's what takes me back to the prayer I shared earlier -

It is a difficult prayer to say - and mean - sometimes.

 

People can be frustrating.

Cruel.

Selfish.

Annoying.

Sometimes Toxic.

 

God gave no qualifiers on who we are to love and show compassion towards.

 

Some days are easy - when my children are angelic and my friends come through and others act in love towards me.

Other days, not so much, when children are snarky and others are critical, judgmental, self-serving and place their own agendas above their relationship with me.

 

Love them anyway.

 

How many times have I heard the saying,

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about" ?

Often.

How many times do I apply that to others instead myself?

Rarely.
I often want others to show me grace for they don't know all of the battles I have faced or presently face.

They don't know all that is on my plate

Or what struggles I confront.

Yet, I am oftentimes the quickest to form judgments against another without taking into account that I don't know all they are facing today.

 

So, today, I WILL pray:

"Lord, make my life a testimony to your compassion and grace."

And I will mean it.
Because His hand of compassion and grace in my life has been truly overwhelming.
And I owe Him.

Truly.

My Life.